Marriage is a life-altering commitment that alters partners’ perspectives on one other, their future, and their place in society. Kings and other ruling classes of old would often marry off their daughters to other powerful families. This is to solidify connections, gain property, and ensure the success of their dynasties. In this modern world, however, with only a few clicks and a search engine. You may discover hundreds of sites where you can pay to communicate and perhaps marry a woman (or man) you fancy. This is where a “modus operandi” of scammers and phishers gather in the internet cyber world to catch fish in the virtual sea for spouse-hunting individuals.
What is going on? What is Mail-Order Bride?
A mail-order bride (MOB) is a lady “ordered” by a prospective husband, who is typically rich and successful. The guy will pay the broker a fee to set up the marriage. He will cover the costs associated with the lady traveling to him for the wedding. Many brides (and sometimes the grooms) are escaping financially or politically precarious backgrounds. This is in hopes of starting a new, more secure life with their spouse. The conversation is obviously slanted in favor of the bride since there is seldom a “mail-order groom” who makes up most of this kind of transaction. Mail-order brides often find their true love via online dating services. That is nearly always paid for by the “purchasers” — in this instance, the potential husbands.
The MOB is, in fact, an updated version of the traditional “picture brides” idea.
However, MOB is a stronger and far more effective kind of social interaction than its forerunner. In locations connected to the internet, it affects the lives of hundreds of thousands or perhaps millions of people worldwide. However, the pattern of exchanges is uneven, and the one-directional population migratory flow (from poor to highly developed countries) ensues.
The paucity of resources needed to engage in online contacts and the nature of the social exchange put women, particularly those from the Philippines, on the losing end. They seldom ever possess computers. Therefore, the majority are willing to frequent internet cafes and pay fees each time they use the internet. Others use the internet while working because they utilize the computer equipment at their place of employment. Additionally, many of them remain late to take advantage of the time difference. That favors their busy male pals on the other side of the globe. Finally, these Filipinas mistakenly portray themselves negatively as “commodities” on the internet that cater to foreign men.
Modus of Mail-Order Bride
All interested parties are allegedly eligible for free matchmaking services. However, there is a catch. When a man joins, he quickly realizes that he cannot contact the women who indicate interest in him unless he pays. Well, certainly a challenging setup. In order to encourage female users to stick around, they may join up for free and communicate with any men online without any limitation. Naturally, they pay for internet pre-paid cards or computer rentals every time they go online.
Nearly half of the dating websites this author visited are owned by husband-and-wife couples. The wife being a Filipino MOB to show that happy marriages can be found online.
At times, these sites compare Filipinas to other women. They make them seem lovelier and more docile than their more liberated or freedom-loving American counterparts. All these sites feature Filipinas as “petite ladies, faithful, submissive, charming, culturally adaptable, family-oriented, religious, and willing to do their husbands’ bidding.”
That “Interesting” Online Convo
- First, a matching website persuades Filipino women to register for free. They will create a profile and specify the kind of men they want to meet. That, they will eventually become friends or soulmates. To maximize their attraction and improve their chances of getting chosen, attractive Filipinas might even submit photos of themselves or appear on a webcam during the conversation.
- The women then sign up for a dating service and start a conversation with the guys they like. They will send them a quick message; if the men have paid for the service, the exchange is reciprocated. Others, particularly attractive and attractive-looking people, would just wait and filter out those they did not want to react to. If over 200 males send her messages expressing interest, an attractive female member will be busy screening and replying to them. It is impossible to conceive of sending emails to hundreds of eager men competing for a female spouse.
- Finally, after a few emails and conversations on Yahoo Messenger, either the lady or the guy decides to leave or continue. At this point, a romantic connection forms. Then, depending on their most comfortable arrangement, the groom asks his lady to go to his nation as a fiancée or a wife.
The social interchange may eventually lead to marriage, for better or worse. Ironically, happy endings are the ones that are most often reported. In contrast, the terrible endings are either avoided or suffered by the Filipina to avoid being shunned by her friends and family back home. Sometimes, a group of abused Filipino spouses, similar to those in Canada, band together for counseling, self-defense, and government assistance.
How much does a mail bride cost?
MOB Price List
Whether you like it or not, Filipinas advertised on dating websites are essentially “sold” to foreign men looking for wives. Undoubtedly, “commodification” is the watchword on almost all online dating services. But today, we see people being turned into commodities for sale rather than things to be sold to the market.
The cost per woman varied from $4 to $10, and her details and contact information were disclosed only after payment. The females are by no means passive. They also express interest in the guys who are listed on the site. Some sites offer large discounts for numerous “orders.” Depending on attractiveness, a male member may get 2–10 emails per day from people seeking a partner (including homosexual people). Still, a female member often receives more than double that amount daily.
Another way to pay is by term, which typically costs between $15 and $95 a month. This ensures unrestricted contact with female members. Similar to how Visa credit cards are classed, membership for men is sometimes divided into “silver,” “gold,” and “platinum.” The latter charges the highest money yet offers the greatest service advantage.
If he is unsuccessful in his search, a male member spends between $100 and $200 till he meets the women on his shortlist by traveling to the Philippines and meeting them one at a time. He then chooses who he will take as his wife.
The Intermediary: Republic Act 6955: Mail-Order Bride Law
It is forbidden under Republic Act No. 6955, often known as the Mail Order Bride Law, for anybody to arrange for the marriage of Filipino women to foreigners by mail order or personal introduction. This includes encouraging Filipina women to join organizations that aim to marry them off to foreigners for a fee.
It is also illegal to utilize postal services and to promote, publish, print, or distribute anything that supports such behavior. Infringers risk six to eight years in prison and penalties between P8,000 and P20,000. If the criminal is a foreign national, he will be deported immediately. He also will never again be allowed to enter the country after completing his term and paying the fine.
The Takeaway…
There are good reasons to think foreign males have courted Filipino women via the Internet. These Filipinas are among the most sought-after mail-order brides today. Jammed with long queues of predators because they are exoticized and commercialized online beyond all recognition. They wait there for their knights in shining armor, or prince charming, to appear and whisk them away from the Philippines so they may escape their dire economic situation. Ironically, most of these women are eager participants in the international trade of warm bodies. Which is now a well-known source of the exodus of Filipinos. Outmigration often occurs from developing nations like the United States, Australia, Canada, and even Europe to developing nations like the Philippines.
While there are success tales of mail-order brides being married, there have also been shady incidents of wife abuse, beatings, and even deaths. The trend of online dating is anticipated to continue apace in the future. It may accelerate further as long as men dream of “ideal” women who would spice up their lives and as long as the cyber world is continually bombarded with exotic adverts. While nothing can be done to stop the flow of Filipina women leaving the country, there are still steps that can be taken to create laws that respect and uphold women’s rights, hold offenders accountable, and control online dating to avoid abuse. Doing so will lessen the harm done to those already vulnerable women and mitigate the negative impacts of their ongoing commodification and stigmatization.
