Ghosting Online: Problem of Online Dating
Like practically every other part of our life, technology has altered how humans date and communicate. One of the most significant advantages of dating apps is that they have enabled us to meet individuals outside of our own social groups. We’re no longer restricted to Ted or Tina in our neighborhood. In fact, dating online is currently the most common route for successful partners to cross paths.
One drawback, however, of this dating setup is the ghosting culture. That’s right! We’ve all heard of ghosting, and it doesn’t feel good, particularly for those who have been ghosted. If you’ve never heard of ghosting before, or if you have but don’t know what it is, then suit yourself!
Ghosting happens when the individual you are speaking with through text, chat, or any other kind of online exchange suddenly disappears. Simply put, ghosting is leaving the other person hanging without bidding a proper farewell.
If you sense you’re being ghosted, you may send a lighthearted text and see what’s up. There’s a possibility that the ghoster didn’t intend to ghost you and will respond with an explanation, which you may accept or reject at your discretion. If that certain someone does not answer, spare your energy for someone who will reciprocate your efforts and enthusiasm. Move on!
Now, let’s dissect this phenomenon a little more and find out what’s going on!
Psychology of Ghosting
Ghosting is growing more widespread, causing many people grief, bewilderment, and dissatisfaction. It is rampant with online dating apps, often for seemingly no reason, resulting in weariness, further tension, and frustration. People quit halfway through and halfway through, making online dating fundamentally undesirable.
Despite the efforts of our brightest tech brains and algorithm-designing algorithms, we recognize online dating offers a great deal to be desired. Even when we understand what users want from dating apps, they seem to need help. There is resentment at spending so much time because finding a suitable mate has never been easy.
Several studies highlighted the phenomenon of “ghosting,” which is when someone you believed was committed and interested in a relationship stops communicating for no apparent reason.
Ghosting is a common trend for many folks, and it’s almost uneasy not to find out why.
But, truth be told, one of the many reasons for being ghosted often has more to do with the ghoster than with the ghostee. Many experts believe that ghosting is a mechanism for people who are scared of confrontation and want an easy escape. Despite the benefit that dialogue might bring, cutting off communication saves the person from taxing confrontation, taking responsibility, or investing in the emotional work of empathy. In practice, it is far more convenient to disappear.
Ghosters, however, do emerge from time to time. Perhaps the individual will contact you via mutual pals or appear online through likes and prompts. Some even apologize through text, email, or voice messages. You should consider hearing what the person has to say since it takes guts on the part of the ghoster to apologize. Nevertheless, you must be intellectually and emotionally aware to determine if they are honest or merely bored.
Another motivation for ghosting is the urge to disappear. It is sometimes necessary to withdraw from a specific type of set-up or relationship. This refers much more to the necessity for your good. If the person makes you feel uneasy, you must assess your chances of fleeing. Perhaps the person exhibits harmful and risky rage. Perhaps the other party lacks boundaries or much more. It is also possible that the person may begin to display dark attributes such as manipulation, lying, and other sorts of deception. That way, pack your things and run through the hills.
Why People Ghost?
As most of us know, ghosting happens when someone abruptly ends a connection with another person without notice or explanation. According to several studies, some users describe ghosting as not hearing back from a dating app match. Others only contemplate ghosting after going on a date and not hearing back from the person.
Some dating app users claim to ghost because they don’t know how to explain why they don’t want to see someone again. Most dating app users said they felt strange rejecting the other person. And another batch said it’s “least damaging to disappear than to reject someone outright.” When asked how they would want to be handled if someone isn’t interested, the vast number of dating app users replied that it’s best to tell even if rejection hurts since it’s tougher not to know why. It may be more painful at the moment, but the clarity allows the person to move on and forward.
Moreover, it should be acknowledged that ghosting has some reassuring aspects. The incredible thing about being at the end of the spectrum on the ghosted side is that it’s never your fault. Most people ghost mainly because of their own shortcomings, not yours. Either they realize you aren’t the right match for them, or dating isn’t their priority. Thus, instead of conversing, they choose silence. Perhaps they need help finding the right words, lack the guts, or help to figure out what’s wrong. Whatever their explanation, know they’re not the best candidate for you if they can’t summon the respect to end the connection gracefully, no matter how casual.
Ghosting may seem a gentler intervention to spare someone’s feelings, but it will bring more harm than good.
If you’re prone to ghosting, remember that you began chatting with your match in the first place because you admired them. Use words and actions to avoid feeling uneasy or awkward if you happen to meet paths. Even better, being upfront may leave the door open for when the moment is more favorable in the future. Even better, being upfront may leave the door open for when the moment is more favorable in the future.
Ghosting may be due to various factors, including an inability to scan profiles and understand others adequately. People often ignore warning signs because of someone’s appearance, how they make them feel, or their own loneliness. Even if a profile has no red flags, there may be in their conversation and manners. Observe whether you’re the only one who always gives praise and starts dialogues but receive one-word responses. Because if the answer is yes, then maybe it’s time to wrap it up.
Above all, look at date stuff and demand in conjunction with messaging. Most people will strive to acquire what they want and say anything they want to hear to get you to drop your guard and trust them and their intentions. There is no quick way to screen individuals. You may learn to trust people through time, effort, consistent behaviors, and priorities.
How to Move On?
It’s advisable not to waste time trying to discover why you’ve been ghosted. What do you stand to gain? Closure? You don’t need it. Try not to let a stranger influence how you feel. Never allow loneliness, passion, or charm to cloud your judgment. Likewise, don’t attempt to change someone’s thoughts or feelings and compel them to like or accept you.
While most individuals would want an unequivocal signal that someone is not interested in them, others would rather avoid the express rejection. However, from a personal standpoint, it is preferable to suffer the brief, sharp agony of rejection than to wallow in the doubt and uncertainty of not knowing whether or not someone is still into you. Having clarity helps you to move on. It might even be a way for you to meet someone who is actually interested in you rather than merely considering you as a potential.
Rejection should be part of nature, and that should be perceived as a normal phenomenon of life.
Just take it with a grain of salt because it’s a normal phenomenon. Remember that only you should establish your own self-worth. Don’t create the impression that you are waiting for their every word, SMS, or missed call. Move on, date others, and devote your time and energy to people who deserve it.
So, if you’re a ghoster, it’s always good to be transparent and honest, even if you don’t have to supply detailed reasons. Be unambiguous and leave no room for interpretation. If someone you’ve connected with comes back and you’re no longer interested, tell them you’ve changed your mind. Create a pleasant remark to use instead of the silent treatment. You could write, “Hey, it was great to hang out with you. You’re wonderful, but I’m not getting a romantic connection with you. We shouldn’t go on any more dates. But if you need a friend, I’d be happy to be one.” Just as simple as that would end things without room for what-ifs.
And for ghostees, there are plenty of fishes out there! Go and meet your ideal partner. Ghosting is not always a shameful experience. It could be a Godsend turn of events that will lead you to find the Adonis or Aphrodite of your dreams. It might be a reroute to the arms of someone to whom you really belong. Accept ghosting with a pinch of salt. And ponder why you want to hope for someone who doesn’t want you or your time. What’s the point? Don’t kid yourself; hence, continue your journey. Don’t contemplate what-if scenarios. Thus, carry on with your life and seek your greatest match. They might be only a swipe away!
