Online Dating Cheating
A notable discussion over what constitutes online infidelity has been spurring for quite some time. Is it necessary to have a face-to-face or physical encounter with an online partner to say you cheated? Some believe cyber affairs are not “cheating” because they are emotional rather than physical. Some also assert that it’s no cheating because there is no “in-person” sex involved. However, these are only justifications designed to downplay the violation and avoid accountability. We must remember that a relationship’s warmth extends to more than just sex. Closeness, sharing personal sentiments, and sustaining a hidden connection do not need sexual intercourse to undermine the trust bond in the current partner.
Psychology of Cheating
The technological age of the last 25 decades has offered us myriad new ways to connect. Still, it has also given us a plethora of new opportunities to be unfaithful to our love relationships. Online dating is getting so popular that it is having an impact on our society as a whole. Although most of this influence has been good, many people are concerned about the drawbacks of online dating on established relationships. With the advent of online dating comes the emergence of online cheating or infidelity. Given the asynchronous nature of e-mail communication, an online affair is remarkably easier to disguise and propagate. It is convenient for a dissatisfied spouse to seek outside fulfillment while staying discreet.
Romantic growth and erotic incompatibility are often at the root of cyber-infidelity, as per most studies. The Internet is often used as a doorway for such exploration. The relationship’s longevity often rests on whether it can adapt to this renewed interest and find mutually acceptable means to accommodate it. You could meet a partner with an unspoken kink or a desire to participate in a different sexual orientation or gender. However, the one threat that online dating poses to a conventional relationship is often the motivation and temptation for the person to cheat online. This whole phenomenon is almost always an unexpected and painful revelation.
Why Do People Cheat?
Cheating is the highest relationship offense and a proven relationship killer. The phenomenon is widely known yet challenging to analyze, making it a popular chatting subject. Some may ask, ‘why admit infidelity in the name of reason when the purpose is to avoid being caught?
Frustration, self-esteem, lack of love, weak commitment, need for variety, indifference, sexual desire, and circumstances are known to be known causes and grounds for cheating, according to research. These reasons determined not just why individuals cheated but also how long they cheated, their sexual satisfaction, their emotional commitment to the affair, and whether or not their primary relationship terminated as a consequence. Though most infidelity includes sex, it is seldom simply about sex. Most individuals indicated some emotional connection to their affair partner, although it was substantially more prevalent in those who reported neglect or lack of affection in their original relationship.
Several types and ways of cheating exist in the present era. Online infidelity is the most common in today’s world. Here are some of the variables that contribute to online affairs, as well as reasons why individuals in relationships may engage in an online affair:
Utmost Secrecy
People already in relationships might seek out affairs online without their possible partners knowing their true identities. You may create a new identity by hiding behind a screen name and using a phony picture. You don’t have to worry about being readily identifiable by a friend, neighbor, or partner. Meeting someone using an app or in a chat room removes the human parts of meeting somebody, such as facial expression, body language, and even physical looks.
Access & Convenience
Online affairs are simple to start since several applications, chat rooms, and websites are dedicated to this intent. Smartphones have increased the technology’s flexibility since most individuals can now access the Internet free from wherever they are, at any time. Curiosity could quickly turn into an online romance.
Evade or Easy-flee from Accountability
People who choose an online affair over an in-person affair may justify that it is not a “true affair.” The individuals involved have never met and may even reside on opposite sides of the world. It might seem like an escape from the prosaic realities of real-world relationships and activities, functioning considerably more in the realm of imagination.
At some point, a motive for the infidelity also significantly influenced its duration. In some situations, the romance was a short affair, while in others, it was a more prolonged and intense bond. Those who cheated out of rage, a lack of love, or a need for variety had a longer affair. But those who were driven by the circumstances, such as those who were “drunk” or “overwhelmed” and “not thinking straight,” ended it sooner.
In the end, just a few individuals acknowledged cheating on their main spouse. Women were more likely than males to confess. Those who confessed were more likely to have cheated out of resentment or neglect than out of sexual desire or variety. It shows that their confession was a type of vengeance and a means of exacting revenge rather than cleansing their conscience.
Is it True that Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater?
“Once a cheater, always a cheater,” as the saying goes. Since we hear it so often, many people believe it to be true. And although infidelity is never an excuse, this ancient saying may not apply to everyone, men and women alike. Yes, there are serial cheaters, and they are usually the ones who do not change. However, it is equally reasonable to assert that not every cheater will cheat again in the future.
If your lover betrays you, you may question whether you can trust them again. Those people consistently and constantly cheat; they are serial cheaters who do not desire to change. And it is these habitual cheats that are no good and do not deserve second chances. Despite the pain they inflict on their spouse, they do not consider infidelity an issue. However, as previously said, a few individuals consciously cheat, experience tremendous guilt, and try hard to change their patterns and behavior.
Various things might cause someone to cheat in a relationship.
Either be it a relationship’s circumstances or something else. Nevertheless, cheating is never an excuse. Outside factors such as stress, a temporary or permanent loss of faith in monogamy, personal self-esteem, and so on are only a few of the myriad motivators for infidelity.
If you can sidestep from seeing things in black and white, you’ll probably agree that just because someone has cheated before doesn’t always guarantee they’ll be a cheater for life. Simply said, not everyone who has cheated will continue to cheat. But don’t abuse this belief. At the end of the day, trust your instincts, listen to your intuition, and always choose yourself. Forgiving a cheater in the hopes that they would change might be risky. It’s never easy to deal with and keep a relationship with someone who has cheated in the past. Thus, if you are working on your relationship with your spouse who has cheated during your relationship, there are certain things you should ponder as you go ahead.
So, although a ton believes that “once a cheater, always a cheater,” this is not always the case. Not everyone who cheats once will keep cheating. However, for serial cheaters, the condition is chronic, and they are unlikely to change. These are often people in serious, monogamous relationships who continue to pursue extramarital romantic or intimate relations on purpose. Despite repeated infidelity, serial cheaters seldom experience feelings of regret or shame because they rarely see cheating as a mistake.
How to Move On from Getting Cheated?
Infidelity, whether online, is still infidelity. Thus, online cheating is still cheating, no matter how you justify it. And it can hurt the relationship. In many respects, the Internet enables people to form and build connections in the same manner as they do in person.
Many therapists and counseling experts advise couples who have experienced cyber-infidelity to establish physical limits on their computers, laptops, and mobile devices. It may take the shape of location restrictions or confining computer usage to work-related activities only. While these measures might be beneficial, they are just one aspect of the relationship rehabilitation process.
So how can you really deal with infidelity?
Whatever others think, your ultimate concern should be yourself. Betrayed partners should realize that staying to love and care for someone after a betrayal is a natural human response. It’s easier said than done to cut ties and move on from someone you dearly love, even after finding out about their infidelity. However, both partners who want a second shot at their relationship must work to reestablish trust and intimacy. The good part is that if both parties share in the healing process, relationships may wind up stronger than before, with greater vulnerability, deeper intimacy, and more support for one another. But then again, you could not know and be sure of what you want. And that’s fine. The choice is entirely yours to make. If you wish to recover after being betrayed, don’t be hesitant to seek help from others around you.
When your lover cheats on you, you may feel lonely and alone. However, it is preferable if you are not scared to seek out friends and family once something has transpired. It would be best if you immersed yourself with trusted folks who care about you and your well-being. Betrayed spouses/partners need help for the trauma they have endured. And it should not come from the unfaithful spouse. Nothing is worse than being alone after a betrayal and having no one to turn to. People who have been cheated on need empathy from those who understand what they are going through. It is quite difficult for them to process and go through their thoughts without it. It would also be beneficial if you won’t hesitate to consult a skilled expert who can provide concrete solutions for your new reality.
